If i come over, it means nothing
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
