i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
