Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize