Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
