he wants to bone in the snuggie
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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