whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
