Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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