I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Houston, we have a blender
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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