I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Two words: blizzard sex
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
