That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize