She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
