You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
