haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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