wanna go halves on a baby?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
