i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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