you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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