Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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