I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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