sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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