The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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