so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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