He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
bring money and cleavage
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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