He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
one might say we're banned from that church
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
