party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
