GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
