Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
