he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
