dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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