what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
