Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
