we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize