U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
