Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
