oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
