Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
