I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
