Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
