Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
its liver damage thursday
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
