hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
