im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He kissed a someone with a penis
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
