she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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