I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
