So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
