Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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