and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Randomize
