I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
