whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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