some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
