i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
