she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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