The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
