i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize