question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
