Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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