Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
