Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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