Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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