awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize