he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
