Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
